I’ve been holding my tongue up to this point, but this is simply a debasement of science. Not only do scissors NOT FLOAT, they’re also *not* scared of tape and they can’t fly into space. Lastly, if all the scissors are in outer space, how do you explain the large amount of scissors that are still on the planet?
Science be damned, man! We have to figure out some way to get those scissors back down!
I have an idea: we get a whole bunch of paper in a bunch of those raccoon-catching cages and throw a ton of rocks into space to scare the scissors down. Then, when the scissors see the paper and try to get it, they get trapped in the cages!
IT IS A FOOLPROOF AND TOTALLY NOT INSANE PLAN THAT IS SURE TO WORK AND GET ME LOTS OF LADY-FRIENDS.
The worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had
I think the REAL question on everyone’s minds is “What in god’s name is he going to do with that tape??!” Frankly, I’m a little scared for his poor wife. Angry patriarchs like him are always wife batterers. You can totally tell a wife-beater when you see one: male, between 4 and 7 feet tall, wearing clothes……I tell you, I don’t know WHAT this world is coming to, when guys like this can just walk the streets freely…..
I’ve been holding my tongue up to this point, but this is simply a debasement of science. Not only do scissors NOT FLOAT, they’re also *not* scared of tape and they can’t fly into space. Lastly, if all the scissors are in outer space, how do you explain the large amount of scissors that are still on the planet?
Science be damned, man! We have to figure out some way to get those scissors back down!
I have an idea: we get a whole bunch of paper in a bunch of those raccoon-catching cages and throw a ton of rocks into space to scare the scissors down. Then, when the scissors see the paper and try to get it, they get trapped in the cages!
IT IS A FOOLPROOF AND TOTALLY NOT INSANE PLAN THAT IS SURE TO WORK AND GET ME LOTS OF LADY-FRIENDS.
I think the REAL question on everyone’s minds is “What in god’s name is he going to do with that tape??!” Frankly, I’m a little scared for his poor wife. Angry patriarchs like him are always wife batterers. You can totally tell a wife-beater when you see one: male, between 4 and 7 feet tall, wearing clothes……I tell you, I don’t know WHAT this world is coming to, when guys like this can just walk the streets freely…..
the tape is turning the man into his telepathic slave AND ITS OUT TO GET THE LADY!!!
Shit, if Scotch brands ever made me obsolete…damn, I might start a an orbital revolution myself.